.Ramblings of ayunie.
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This is AYUN
Her organiser's over here.
And her art over here.
This blog is not about GORE. It is about the finer points of life and how much we can live it by enjoying it to the fullest...
NOT!
This is GOHR-blog. Nothing will make sense here now...I think.
Feeling lots better right now. Lots of thanks to Fizz for giving me that little massage earlier today. Headache lightened up; Soooooooo much better.
=D I love Hafiz and I don't know why.
Gosh now I feel guilty for not going with the dudes for the jamming and countdown. But I'll probably just irritate or worry everyone because of my fever. Hahah.
Oh yah something embarassing happened on the way to school today. It took me much much loger to walk up the staircase of the overhead bridge because I couldn't stop stumbling. XD And there was a whole stampede of students who came for school at 9am right behind me. I'm pretty sure they would've noticed this little girl above them stumbling over every few steps.
Gah so embarassing.
I was pretty quiet the whole of today. It felt nice the quietness. If not for the stooOOooOOoooOpid sore throat of mine I would say my day was very peaceful.
Dad suspects I might have tonsilitis. Symptoms: fever, sore throat, cough, excessive sneezing.
Well I don't have excessive sneezing... So that's a good sign right?
But oh well tommorrow I'm still going to the hospital for that monthly checkup. Even though I've been skipping it for months. Hahah.
Naq and Kak Dil ust left to go ice skating wih Abg Dzul. He's got a car, so they are allowed to stay out really really late to watch the fireworks at Marina. Dad forbade me to go and told me to stay at home to look after Mak Busu. Sigh.
I want to ice skate, but school is starting soon and I know I'll be extremely busy this whole block.
Oh no. School. I suddenly dread Italian. How am I gonna memorise so much so fasst? Die.
I miss Hafiz now. The house is so quiet and Busu is taking a nap in front of the Tv. So is the maid. I feel like drawing but I don't know what to draw.
Random random. If I sms fizz now he would reply late cos he's jamming. Its so fun to watch people jam. So I shall not bother him.
The jcg people have a new year eve dinner together. Ganbatte Jeanette! So I can't chat with any of them either.
Nin nin celebrating with her fam now and her many many cousins. No way I can chat with her now.
I might be the only one here who isn't celebrating. Hahah bugger.
But what the heck ehhs it's like me and birhdays. I hardly celebrate them. Well except for this year when fizz's fam surprised me--
Sorry phone call. Wow I wrote so many words. Maybe it's cos I didn't talk out loud much today. Hahaha. Ok bye.
P.S: So sorry Hafiz I can't spend New Years' with youu!! >______<
Monday, December 31, 2007
I don't think guilt exists in this world anymore.
Or froggy.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Congratulations to Shaggy and Jannah!! xD
Lucky Shaggy! Hahaks! Your own version of east meets west huh~
And also to my lil cousin Amaliah! Lol grats I'm glad you got Syadie to keep you smiling thru ur stressful days at school~
Well I'm still at home and this time I'm looking after my aunt. For some strange reason sparrows keep trying to fly in the balcony into the living room. One even perched on my knee. Well, until I freaked out and stood up shouting and flailing my arms wildly...
Haha the poor sparrows..
Something is wrong with m voice right now. My throat. It hurts a lot but my mom says to just let it be and we'll see in a few days it should heal soon.
Hmm.
My voice is half gone now anyway. Sigh.
Until later,
Toodles~
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Fever. hahah. Who would've guessed.
The hot-headed, cranky frog who felt that everything seemed too loud or too soft. Or that everybody is pissing her off. Or that she is thinking too much into things. Of course she'd end up getting a fever.
I knew I shouldn't have gone with Eisha to shout out in the rain this afternoon.
My eyes are burning now but I still want to read. Found this nice book about religion. Very interesting.
I should sleep but something's keeping me awake. This lack of something is bothering me.
So, until I start drowsing into lala land; I shall read. Now I bid everyone good night.
And take care, aite? :)
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I freakin want to rant right now i hat them i hate them i hate htem i now know why i always stay out late from school even if it was the holidays i know im supposed to love them but they are oh so irritating especially her who cant keep her bloody mouth shut and babbles everything so much and keep on pestering me and all that crap she does that makes me boil ooooooh i am freakin pissed.
*takes a deep breath*
why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why do i have to go through m sibling rivalry thing even though yeah many people say it happens to everyone hey shit happens right but this headache and sore throat is not helping and all this is making me grow pimples and the eyebags seemed to have grown worse on my face I am such a self-absorbed bitch who can't even ppunctuate her rants but who the hell cares what i think or what i want or what i want to do because its all not m choice to make or do i cant think on my own thats why im such a coward laaaa.
Who else can I rant to right now anyway.
This is so not a good day.
Good bye.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Classes start next week.
Four bucks for Italian classes which start on wednesday.
Student comm session on friday. Sub comm meeting after student comm.
and I still don't know whether I have class on monday or not. I'm dying to get outta here!!
Aww relax la ayun. It's only been a day at home. Doing nothing. At all. Not even talking to people.
Just doing nothing.
Relax la.
Darned being grounded sucks.
I'mma try be brave soon. I know I'm a coward; so I'll try to be brave and maybe that will make you proud.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I have been grounded. shhhhhhhhhucks.
Darnit la. Starting from next week I'm allowed to go for classes and classes only and I have to beleave for home the moment class ends.
Dad gave a long lecture on responsibility for your actions and all that and that I should learn to discipline myself to bla bla blaa..
sigh.
I'm off to sulk now. Buhbye.
Friday, December 28, 2007
It's the day after christmas and all through the house
not a soul was awake; not even a mouse.
Well except me that is.
It's 10 am already and yet nobody is awake in this house.
o.O
Yesterday's movie was good. I am legend is good i like it. =D
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Sipping hot coffee munching on homemade bread and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while drawing on my laptop right after a full day of activity is awesome. Really great.
A chance to relax and contemplate.
I am calm. I shall eat my peanut butter now. Will update my lineart drawing soon. Yesss.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
I think the warzone is over.
Most of my cousins have left already. Yessahhh.
Only Amaliah is here; and I don't mind her company. I just gotta help her wit her schoolwork that's all.
Thank goodness I have hols right now.
And I should check my TP email more often. I got so many reminder letters to take my certificate from the CDI office.
I shall go there tomorrow to take it; lest I forget again.
Yea and now I'm listeninn to Hijau by Zainal Abidin.. Calming~
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
I got a request. Does anybody know the lyrics to this song? I'm in love with it. Don't ask why. The music is DA BOMB.
It's in Zulu by the way.
Ouh and I want the lyrics. Please anyone?
Monday, December 17, 2007
There's is a ton of movies that I want to watch.
Like Alvin and the chipmunks.
Or Stardust.
And The Golden Compass.
Or Hitman.
Heck, I feel like watching Heroes season 2 all over again.
Ayun, better?
Yes, I am. =)
Your smile makes me smile.
When you find that special someone Feel your whole life has barely begun You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone Allah knows Allah knows
Nice song.
Monday, December 17, 2007
NOOOOOOOOOO.
HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE.
15 GIRLS SLEEPING OVER AT HOME.
I DON'T WANT NOISE!! THEY ARE PLAYING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL MARATHONS ON ALL THE TELEVISIONS AT HOME!
15 girls.. exluding me.
The high pitched voices, the crying wails of the younger girls; the bitchiness of the older ones...
I'll die.
The socialising. The horrible horrible socialising... My female cousins sleeping over here for another day or two...
I have to layan them now. toodles people. I might not live to see tommorrow...
And made Tok Ki Pudding. My grandpa's special pudding. Got pictures.
And I kept thinking while working just now; would today have been any different from other days?
Lots of things going through my mind.
My cousins can never stop making noise huh. Even till the middle of the night.
I'll post pictures in the next entry. I'm still tryin ta get used to this mac. It's difficult. >_<
I feel lost now. Should I wait or just go?
I don't know now. I still have no answer. I want to talk, but what should I talk about?
I remember a looong time ago I used to love hiding in small cramped and dark spaces like the storeroom at home. Just hide and not move not thinking not doing anything. It used to be a lovely feeling. It's a habit that I realised I still have; but it's not that frequent.
I decided to hide in my closet yesterday night. It felt different. Haha random. But darn those sharp eyes of my cousins. They knew i cried-.- I TOLD them it's the contacts!!!
And I finally finished the christmas present. It was expensive, it took a lot of effort, and I think my sore fingers need the break right now. Sewing took a lot of time, too. Sigh.
Sewing. Saddening la. Every time I think about that.
Okay la I'm gonna go upload the pictures now.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
EOY was cool.
I saw lots of people dress up. Not as overwhelming as last years', but it was still great.
Sorry to the people who were worried for me. I knew I should've eaten something in the morning; but the rush was pretty bad; anf then I lost my appetite later i the afternoon.
So bleah.
I guess I got pissed that I had to work so darned hard and then to realise at the last minute that we didn't need to in the end.
It sucks; and me Nin and Fio pretty exhausted.
We're too tired to hold a grudge.
Plus I cant hold a grudge. I ever do. -.-
Oh I'll upload the EOY pics tomorrow. After I charge the battery for the camera.
It's the 16th of December today. Almost 1am. Of the 16th.
nothing.
i love you mohammad hafiz.
And who the hell was the person who tagged at my blog swearing? Own up please.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
EOY COUNTDOWN: 2 DAYS
And all day I have been caught in a whirlwind of panic and screaming and stress.
I had a pretty sad day yesterday, and waking up this morning for Subuh I was immediately sent out of the house to send busu and kak tun to my cousin's place all the way at Lakeside. Isn't that a great way to wake up to the day?
On the way back I thought I could get some shut-eye because I slept pretty late waiting for a phone call and sewing as well so I found a nice seat on the MRT to Tamp and tried to sleep. Tried to.
A whole group of noisy children barged in and took up most of the space in front of me. WHY GOD WHY in front of me?!?! Noisy and one little boy actually ran around and around and knocked into me. I was sitting down for goodness' sake. I was pretty pissed already.
Went home realised that cousins are sleeping over and I have to cook for them breakfast lunch and dinner and breakfast for them again the next day. No maid to help. I still got sewing to finish. I think I'm doomed.
It's not that I hate cooking, I just dislike doing it so often. Sigh.
Dad came home and started nagging at me about the mess in the living room and how noisy I am. I got scolded for coughing out loud and for wearing the contacts. Oh--
And then I am in a dilemma of whether I should call him or not. I couldn't even find time to do that until now. I'm online now cos I wanna see if he'd be online; but tough luck for me.--
Ah people are here. gotta go.
maybe later I'll talk more.
I need ta rant. But to whom?
You're not the only one who feels alone here.
You never call.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Do I walk out on people? Am I rude?
Are there people who hate me, loathe me, despise me? Am I clear in showing my anger?
Do I stamp my feet and bang doors in frustration?
Am I really one who would walk away when someone sincerely wants to help?
Am I such a person? ...Should I wonder why?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
well. EOY COUNTDOWN: 3 DAYS
Let's just say my arms have gotten bigger now. Lugging a super heavy sewing machine halfway to Hougang and back to Tampines takes a lot out of you. But I can do it. I know I can.
It's been one helluva day. I went to sleep at 5am from sewing cosplay costumes for 4 people. Hakamas for me Nin Fizz and Ruby. and overcoats for hafiz. Lots to do. And to think I'm just helping Fiona. She's too busy and yet she still agreed to make our costumes. See. Now I'm here helping her.
Woke up at 7am. Gave wake up call. Couldn't go back to sleep. Bathe. Housework. Sew. Cook. Left the house.
I am pissed. Angry at myself. She-who-cannot-handle-tough-situations. Being misunderstood sucks la.
I wish that I know how to talk well. I wish I can handle tough obstacles without looking like some crybaby. I wish I know what to do at the right time. I wish I know what to say at the right time. I wish I can make the whole world happy. I wish my future is bright.
Lots to wish for. How to make them come true. I'm dying here.
I AM HUMAN. I MAKE FREAKIN MISTAKES. I'm imperfect. I do feel pain, sadness and hurt.
I've got feelings too. I wish someone would notice that.
I wish people would talk to me again. Another wish.
But nobody seems to want to bother to talk to me, unless I talk to them first. Sounds so familiar.
Like secondary school.
Hmm. I remember I wrote poetry in my Diary a long time ago. In secondary school.
It doesn't sound like crap now though.
I'll put them up in time. When I bother.
If this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear you call me up because you know I'll be there. Let me be there for you. Don't push me away, baka.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
lineart of a drawing i'm working on. gonna show what I do step-by-step.
experimenting lol. see how this goes.
Monday, December 10, 2007
This is me at terminal 3 airport last Sunday, when my aunt and uncle were about to leave for Haji.
Busu and Kak tun cam-whored. And played at the koi pond. Strangely, there were no fish in the koi pond.. Amaliah and me cam-whored too. And so did Diyanah and Irfaan. Well. That's it for last Sunday. Don't ask why I wore a tudung. Just....don't.
And yesterday was Nick's birthday party. It was cool. I was exactly on time to meet up with War, Fiona and Matt but they were late, un. I knew I should've stayed a little longer for the meeting at the Jap culture club.
I was bored enough to take photos of the 72 bus stop. =.=
I'm sure Nick is happy with what he ot for his Birthday. I saw an iTouch(LIKE WOW) a lotta ang paos and I hope he liked our present of the new bamboo tablet. =D
Went home early. Didn't want parents to nag. Started taking pictures on the bus. Just for fun^_^. But strangely, Some photos turned out black... Must be something wrong with the camera. Some stuffs won't upload either.
Ah well. I guess I should go and play Fiesta now. Its a fun game for someone on holiday and got nothing to do. =D
Saturday, December 08, 2007
I want to make a picture book.
A pretty picture book for children.
I shall work on it the moment I get my wacom.
HAHAH.
The boy who lies.
My only ghost friend.
Summer.
Hand. (an old myth)
I can fly.
Leap year girl.
Hmms. Ideas ideas. Lots of em. Can't wait.
YAY.
I AM KOALAFROG. FEAR MY CLINGINESS! *OM NOM NOM NOM*
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
Random musings.
My throat is itchy. I don't know what's coming over me now.
Am I getting sick? The motionn sickness I had this afternoon didn't go away either. And I almost puked.
ALMOST. But I didnt! HAH!
But now I don't know. Is this a fever? I can't tell. I'm rambling on and on and on and on and I probably don't know why.
I probably won't remember anything after all.
hahaha. I'm so useless.
Buying a mac might help me. Is it better than windows, I wonder??
Neck hurts. Like a bruise. Shouldn't have stayed in the same position for so long at expo. But the QUEUE. Aaaaargh.
I love my friends. You all are wonderful people. hahahah. I want to say that now. Even though I know not many people actually bother to read this lonesome blog. XD
I love you all.
It hurts to swallow. And my eyes keep shaking...Is that even normal? My vision shakes after a bit and and... Your eyes focuses back to normal. It that common?
I think I'm sick now. I didn't eat much either. Nothing to eat at Republic Polytechnic. Nothing to eat at Expo. Nothing to eat at home.
Yeap. Someone wish me luck about the food tomorrow. I love food.
My chin hurts. Am I growing a pimple? Hahah.
I miss nenek sanah. My favourite nenek. She gave me lots of sound advice. I remember her trying to explain to me about love once, many years ago. I can barely remember it now. But I know something triggered my memory of this. But what?
Ah well. I am thankful. Alhamdulillah. Glory be to god. Yes.
Anybody wondering where I got my msn nickname? It's from one of the verses in the Quran. One of the last few surahs at the back of the book. Its poetry to me when you read the translations.
I want more books.
.
Oh gosh my vision started shaking again. It's stopped now, haha. But I know it'll start again soon if I don't GO TO SLEEP NOW.
AYUN PERGI TIDUR SEKARANG JUGA.
Ok. I'm off to sleep. I suspect I won't remember not even half of what I typed over here. I must be drunk on oxygen. Or lack thereof. I keep yawning lately. My dad says it's because there's not enough oxygen supply to your brain.
There I yawned again. see.
Okay okay okay okay okay. Goodnight readers. Whoever you all are.
Goodnight; sweetmares.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
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Monday
Feeling lots better right now. Lots of thanks to Fizz for giving me that little massage earlier today. Headache lightened up; Soooooooo much better.
=D I love Hafiz and I don't know why.
Gosh now I feel guilty for not going with the dudes for the jamming and countdown. But I'll probably just irritate or worry everyone because of my fever. Hahah.
Oh yah something embarassing happened on the way to school today. It took me much much loger to walk up the staircase of the overhead bridge because I couldn't stop stumbling. XD And there was a whole stampede of students who came for school at 9am right behind me. I'm pretty sure they would've noticed this little girl above them stumbling over every few steps.
Gah so embarassing.
I was pretty quiet the whole of today. It felt nice the quietness. If not for the stooOOooOOoooOpid sore throat of mine I would say my day was very peaceful.
Dad suspects I might have tonsilitis. Symptoms: fever, sore throat, cough, excessive sneezing.
Well I don't have excessive sneezing... So that's a good sign right?
But oh well tommorrow I'm still going to the hospital for that monthly checkup. Even though I've been skipping it for months. Hahah.
Naq and Kak Dil ust left to go ice skating wih Abg Dzul. He's got a car, so they are allowed to stay out really really late to watch the fireworks at Marina. Dad forbade me to go and told me to stay at home to look after Mak Busu. Sigh.
I want to ice skate, but school is starting soon and I know I'll be extremely busy this whole block.
Oh no. School. I suddenly dread Italian. How am I gonna memorise so much so fasst? Die.
I miss Hafiz now. The house is so quiet and Busu is taking a nap in front of the Tv. So is the maid. I feel like drawing but I don't know what to draw.
Random random. If I sms fizz now he would reply late cos he's jamming. Its so fun to watch people jam. So I shall not bother him.
The jcg people have a new year eve dinner together. Ganbatte Jeanette! So I can't chat with any of them either.
Nin nin celebrating with her fam now and her many many cousins. No way I can chat with her now.
I might be the only one here who isn't celebrating. Hahah bugger.
But what the heck ehhs it's like me and birhdays. I hardly celebrate them. Well except for this year when fizz's fam surprised me--
Sorry phone call. Wow I wrote so many words. Maybe it's cos I didn't talk out loud much today. Hahaha. Ok bye.
P.S: So sorry Hafiz I can't spend New Years' with youu!! >______<
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday
I don't think guilt exists in this world anymore.
Or froggy.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday
Congratulations to Shaggy and Jannah!! xD
Lucky Shaggy! Hahaks! Your own version of east meets west huh~
And also to my lil cousin Amaliah! Lol grats I'm glad you got Syadie to keep you smiling thru ur stressful days at school~
Well I'm still at home and this time I'm looking after my aunt. For some strange reason sparrows keep trying to fly in the balcony into the living room. One even perched on my knee. Well, until I freaked out and stood up shouting and flailing my arms wildly...
Haha the poor sparrows..
Something is wrong with m voice right now. My throat. It hurts a lot but my mom says to just let it be and we'll see in a few days it should heal soon.
Hmm.
My voice is half gone now anyway. Sigh.
Until later,
Toodles~
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Fever. hahah. Who would've guessed.
The hot-headed, cranky frog who felt that everything seemed too loud or too soft. Or that everybody is pissing her off. Or that she is thinking too much into things. Of course she'd end up getting a fever.
I knew I shouldn't have gone with Eisha to shout out in the rain this afternoon.
My eyes are burning now but I still want to read. Found this nice book about religion. Very interesting.
I should sleep but something's keeping me awake. This lack of something is bothering me.
So, until I start drowsing into lala land; I shall read. Now I bid everyone good night.
And take care, aite? :)
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I freakin want to rant right now i hat them i hate them i hate htem i now know why i always stay out late from school even if it was the holidays i know im supposed to love them but they are oh so irritating especially her who cant keep her bloody mouth shut and babbles everything so much and keep on pestering me and all that crap she does that makes me boil ooooooh i am freakin pissed.
*takes a deep breath*
why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why do i have to go through m sibling rivalry thing even though yeah many people say it happens to everyone hey shit happens right but this headache and sore throat is not helping and all this is making me grow pimples and the eyebags seemed to have grown worse on my face I am such a self-absorbed bitch who can't even ppunctuate her rants but who the hell cares what i think or what i want or what i want to do because its all not m choice to make or do i cant think on my own thats why im such a coward laaaa.
Who else can I rant to right now anyway.
This is so not a good day.
Good bye.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Classes start next week.
Four bucks for Italian classes which start on wednesday.
Student comm session on friday. Sub comm meeting after student comm.
and I still don't know whether I have class on monday or not. I'm dying to get outta here!!
Aww relax la ayun. It's only been a day at home. Doing nothing. At all. Not even talking to people.
Just doing nothing.
Relax la.
Darned being grounded sucks.
I'mma try be brave soon. I know I'm a coward; so I'll try to be brave and maybe that will make you proud.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Friday
I have been grounded. shhhhhhhhhucks.
Darnit la. Starting from next week I'm allowed to go for classes and classes only and I have to beleave for home the moment class ends.
Dad gave a long lecture on responsibility for your actions and all that and that I should learn to discipline myself to bla bla blaa..
sigh.
I'm off to sulk now. Buhbye.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Tuesday
It's the day after christmas and all through the house
not a soul was awake; not even a mouse.
Well except me that is.
It's 10 am already and yet nobody is awake in this house.
o.O
Yesterday's movie was good. I am legend is good i like it. =D
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Thursday
Sipping hot coffee munching on homemade bread and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while drawing on my laptop right after a full day of activity is awesome. Really great.
A chance to relax and contemplate.
I am calm. I shall eat my peanut butter now. Will update my lineart drawing soon. Yesss.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday
I think the warzone is over.
Most of my cousins have left already. Yessahhh.
Only Amaliah is here; and I don't mind her company. I just gotta help her wit her schoolwork that's all.
Thank goodness I have hols right now.
And I should check my TP email more often. I got so many reminder letters to take my certificate from the CDI office.
I shall go there tomorrow to take it; lest I forget again.
Yea and now I'm listeninn to Hijau by Zainal Abidin.. Calming~
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Monday
I got a request. Does anybody know the lyrics to this song? I'm in love with it. Don't ask why. The music is DA BOMB.
It's in Zulu by the way.
Ouh and I want the lyrics. Please anyone?
Monday, December 17, 2007
There's is a ton of movies that I want to watch.
Like Alvin and the chipmunks.
Or Stardust.
And The Golden Compass.
Or Hitman.
Heck, I feel like watching Heroes season 2 all over again.
Ayun, better?
Yes, I am. =)
Your smile makes me smile.
When you find that special someone Feel your whole life has barely begun You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone Allah knows Allah knows
Nice song.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sunday
NOOOOOOOOOO.
HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE.
15 GIRLS SLEEPING OVER AT HOME.
I DON'T WANT NOISE!! THEY ARE PLAYING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL MARATHONS ON ALL THE TELEVISIONS AT HOME!
15 girls.. exluding me.
The high pitched voices, the crying wails of the younger girls; the bitchiness of the older ones...
I'll die.
The socialising. The horrible horrible socialising... My female cousins sleeping over here for another day or two...
I have to layan them now. toodles people. I might not live to see tommorrow...
And made Tok Ki Pudding. My grandpa's special pudding. Got pictures.
And I kept thinking while working just now; would today have been any different from other days?
Lots of things going through my mind.
My cousins can never stop making noise huh. Even till the middle of the night.
I'll post pictures in the next entry. I'm still tryin ta get used to this mac. It's difficult. >_<
I feel lost now. Should I wait or just go?
I don't know now. I still have no answer. I want to talk, but what should I talk about?
I remember a looong time ago I used to love hiding in small cramped and dark spaces like the storeroom at home. Just hide and not move not thinking not doing anything. It used to be a lovely feeling. It's a habit that I realised I still have; but it's not that frequent.
I decided to hide in my closet yesterday night. It felt different. Haha random. But darn those sharp eyes of my cousins. They knew i cried-.- I TOLD them it's the contacts!!!
And I finally finished the christmas present. It was expensive, it took a lot of effort, and I think my sore fingers need the break right now. Sewing took a lot of time, too. Sigh.
Sewing. Saddening la. Every time I think about that.
Okay la I'm gonna go upload the pictures now.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
EOY was cool.
I saw lots of people dress up. Not as overwhelming as last years', but it was still great.
Sorry to the people who were worried for me. I knew I should've eaten something in the morning; but the rush was pretty bad; anf then I lost my appetite later i the afternoon.
So bleah.
I guess I got pissed that I had to work so darned hard and then to realise at the last minute that we didn't need to in the end.
It sucks; and me Nin and Fio pretty exhausted.
We're too tired to hold a grudge.
Plus I cant hold a grudge. I ever do. -.-
Oh I'll upload the EOY pics tomorrow. After I charge the battery for the camera.
It's the 16th of December today. Almost 1am. Of the 16th.
nothing.
i love you mohammad hafiz.
And who the hell was the person who tagged at my blog swearing? Own up please.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Thursday
Thursday, December 13, 2007
EOY COUNTDOWN: 2 DAYS
And all day I have been caught in a whirlwind of panic and screaming and stress.
I had a pretty sad day yesterday, and waking up this morning for Subuh I was immediately sent out of the house to send busu and kak tun to my cousin's place all the way at Lakeside. Isn't that a great way to wake up to the day?
On the way back I thought I could get some shut-eye because I slept pretty late waiting for a phone call and sewing as well so I found a nice seat on the MRT to Tamp and tried to sleep. Tried to.
A whole group of noisy children barged in and took up most of the space in front of me. WHY GOD WHY in front of me?!?! Noisy and one little boy actually ran around and around and knocked into me. I was sitting down for goodness' sake. I was pretty pissed already.
Went home realised that cousins are sleeping over and I have to cook for them breakfast lunch and dinner and breakfast for them again the next day. No maid to help. I still got sewing to finish. I think I'm doomed.
It's not that I hate cooking, I just dislike doing it so often. Sigh.
Dad came home and started nagging at me about the mess in the living room and how noisy I am. I got scolded for coughing out loud and for wearing the contacts. Oh--
And then I am in a dilemma of whether I should call him or not. I couldn't even find time to do that until now. I'm online now cos I wanna see if he'd be online; but tough luck for me.--
Ah people are here. gotta go.
maybe later I'll talk more.
I need ta rant. But to whom?
You're not the only one who feels alone here.
You never call.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday
Do I walk out on people? Am I rude?
Are there people who hate me, loathe me, despise me? Am I clear in showing my anger?
Do I stamp my feet and bang doors in frustration?
Am I really one who would walk away when someone sincerely wants to help?
Am I such a person? ...Should I wonder why?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
well. EOY COUNTDOWN: 3 DAYS
Let's just say my arms have gotten bigger now. Lugging a super heavy sewing machine halfway to Hougang and back to Tampines takes a lot out of you. But I can do it. I know I can.
It's been one helluva day. I went to sleep at 5am from sewing cosplay costumes for 4 people. Hakamas for me Nin Fizz and Ruby. and overcoats for hafiz. Lots to do. And to think I'm just helping Fiona. She's too busy and yet she still agreed to make our costumes. See. Now I'm here helping her.
Woke up at 7am. Gave wake up call. Couldn't go back to sleep. Bathe. Housework. Sew. Cook. Left the house.
I am pissed. Angry at myself. She-who-cannot-handle-tough-situations. Being misunderstood sucks la.
I wish that I know how to talk well. I wish I can handle tough obstacles without looking like some crybaby. I wish I know what to do at the right time. I wish I know what to say at the right time. I wish I can make the whole world happy. I wish my future is bright.
Lots to wish for. How to make them come true. I'm dying here.
I AM HUMAN. I MAKE FREAKIN MISTAKES. I'm imperfect. I do feel pain, sadness and hurt.
I've got feelings too. I wish someone would notice that.
I wish people would talk to me again. Another wish.
But nobody seems to want to bother to talk to me, unless I talk to them first. Sounds so familiar.
Like secondary school.
Hmm. I remember I wrote poetry in my Diary a long time ago. In secondary school.
It doesn't sound like crap now though.
I'll put them up in time. When I bother.
If this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear you call me up because you know I'll be there. Let me be there for you. Don't push me away, baka.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Monday
lineart of a drawing i'm working on. gonna show what I do step-by-step.
experimenting lol. see how this goes.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Saturday
This is me at terminal 3 airport last Sunday, when my aunt and uncle were about to leave for Haji.
Busu and Kak tun cam-whored. And played at the koi pond. Strangely, there were no fish in the koi pond.. Amaliah and me cam-whored too. And so did Diyanah and Irfaan. Well. That's it for last Sunday. Don't ask why I wore a tudung. Just....don't.
And yesterday was Nick's birthday party. It was cool. I was exactly on time to meet up with War, Fiona and Matt but they were late, un. I knew I should've stayed a little longer for the meeting at the Jap culture club.
I was bored enough to take photos of the 72 bus stop. =.=
I'm sure Nick is happy with what he ot for his Birthday. I saw an iTouch(LIKE WOW) a lotta ang paos and I hope he liked our present of the new bamboo tablet. =D
Went home early. Didn't want parents to nag. Started taking pictures on the bus. Just for fun^_^. But strangely, Some photos turned out black... Must be something wrong with the camera. Some stuffs won't upload either.
Ah well. I guess I should go and play Fiesta now. Its a fun game for someone on holiday and got nothing to do. =D
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Thursday
I want to make a picture book.
A pretty picture book for children.
I shall work on it the moment I get my wacom.
HAHAH.
The boy who lies.
My only ghost friend.
Summer.
Hand. (an old myth)
I can fly.
Leap year girl.
Hmms. Ideas ideas. Lots of em. Can't wait.
YAY.
I AM KOALAFROG. FEAR MY CLINGINESS! *OM NOM NOM NOM*
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Monday
Monday, December 03, 2007
Saturday
Random musings.
My throat is itchy. I don't know what's coming over me now.
Am I getting sick? The motionn sickness I had this afternoon didn't go away either. And I almost puked.
ALMOST. But I didnt! HAH!
But now I don't know. Is this a fever? I can't tell. I'm rambling on and on and on and on and I probably don't know why.
I probably won't remember anything after all.
hahaha. I'm so useless.
Buying a mac might help me. Is it better than windows, I wonder??
Neck hurts. Like a bruise. Shouldn't have stayed in the same position for so long at expo. But the QUEUE. Aaaaargh.
I love my friends. You all are wonderful people. hahahah. I want to say that now. Even though I know not many people actually bother to read this lonesome blog. XD
I love you all.
It hurts to swallow. And my eyes keep shaking...Is that even normal? My vision shakes after a bit and and... Your eyes focuses back to normal. It that common?
I think I'm sick now. I didn't eat much either. Nothing to eat at Republic Polytechnic. Nothing to eat at Expo. Nothing to eat at home.
Yeap. Someone wish me luck about the food tomorrow. I love food.
My chin hurts. Am I growing a pimple? Hahah.
I miss nenek sanah. My favourite nenek. She gave me lots of sound advice. I remember her trying to explain to me about love once, many years ago. I can barely remember it now. But I know something triggered my memory of this. But what?
Ah well. I am thankful. Alhamdulillah. Glory be to god. Yes.
Anybody wondering where I got my msn nickname? It's from one of the verses in the Quran. One of the last few surahs at the back of the book. Its poetry to me when you read the translations.
I want more books.
.
Oh gosh my vision started shaking again. It's stopped now, haha. But I know it'll start again soon if I don't GO TO SLEEP NOW.
AYUN PERGI TIDUR SEKARANG JUGA.
Ok. I'm off to sleep. I suspect I won't remember not even half of what I typed over here. I must be drunk on oxygen. Or lack thereof. I keep yawning lately. My dad says it's because there's not enough oxygen supply to your brain.
There I yawned again. see.
Okay okay okay okay okay. Goodnight readers. Whoever you all are.
Goodnight; sweetmares.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
gallery
Random shit.
I drew me.
I drew me again.
This was drawn on my macbook before I lost it.
2006, from left, Rafi, me, Shabs, JM, Nina, and Khai.
Monday, December 31, 2007
lineart of a drawing i'm working on. gonna show what I do step-by-step.
Busu and Kak tun cam-whored.
And played at the koi pond. Strangely, there were no fish in the koi pond..
Amaliah and me cam-whored too.
And so did Diyanah and Irfaan.
Well. That's it for last Sunday. Don't ask why I wore a tudung. Just....don't.
