hey. khai here.

I am very scared to mention about the future. For one, it is clear that the future is very unclear. and there exists this certain unspoken taboo, that if I were to mention a specific wish about the future, usually an uncertain one, then it would be highly likely that my little wish wont ever come true.

My take on this was to simply keep my wishes to myself. I dont usually say or tell people my dreams or my hopes for the future because if i do, i believe it wouldnt come true.

On another hand, others, would chose to inculcate opposite thoughts contrary to what they really want to achieve. Its like building a safe fort for themselves if in any case that the wish turned out otherwise. for example, one would prefer to believe that he would not get the job after a grueling interview session even though he really really really want it. so that if in the end, he ends up not landing the job, he could tell himself, i knew it! and feel much better after that.

Or they might chose to believe that they are not really into a relationship even though they are really totally in love with the partner. So that, you know, just in case a break up might happen, they can always tell themselves, i wasnt that into her anyway and get on with life.

People lie to themselves now to make themselves feel better later if their plan did not turn out in the end. But for how long can one keep up with living a lie. and for how much longer can I keep mum about my own hopes and dreams. things dont happen by lying or by keeping quiet. I know.

I guess the first step is to admit. so here goes. I admit that I am guilty because I am afraid of facing the truth. I guess others might be afraid too?

If so.. Ah what the heck. Enough rambling. 

I'm off.

hey. khai here.

I am very scared to mention about the future. For one, it is clear that the future is very unclear. and there exists this certain unspoken taboo, that if I were to mention a specific wish about the future, usually an uncertain one, then it would be highly likely that my little wish wont ever come true.

My take on this was to simply keep my wishes to myself. I dont usually say or tell people my dreams or my hopes for the future because if i do, i believe it wouldnt come true.

On another hand, others, would chose to inculcate opposite thoughts contrary to what they really want to achieve. Its like building a safe fort for themselves if in any case that the wish turned out otherwise. for example, one would prefer to believe that he would not get the job after a grueling interview session even though he really really really want it. so that if in the end, he ends up not landing the job, he could tell himself, i knew it! and feel much better after that.

Or they might chose to believe that they are not really into a relationship even though they are really totally in love with the partner. So that, you know, just in case a break up might happen, they can always tell themselves, i wasnt that into her anyway and get on with life.

People lie to themselves now to make themselves feel better later if their plan did not turn out in the end. But for how long can one keep up with living a lie. and for how much longer can I keep mum about my own hopes and dreams. things dont happen by lying or by keeping quiet. I know.

I guess the first step is to admit. so here goes. I admit that I am guilty because I am afraid of facing the truth. I guess others might be afraid too?

If so.. Ah what the heck. Enough rambling. 

I'm off.